Raymo, Kristian Eng. 112B Dr. Warner

Annotated Bibliography due: 12 /09/09 (MLA)

Self-Help & Information Books: Help Starts with Me

Self-inflicted harm is often the worst type of injury to have. Everyone harms himself or herself in one way or another whether it is physically, mentally, emotionally, indirectly, directly, etc. During an interview, author Patricia McCormick admits that she harms herself, �But, I am, and I think we all are, self-destructive at times, usually at the very times we need to take the best care of ourselves� (McCormick on-line interview http://www.pattymccormick.com/index.php?mode=objectlist&section_id=115&object_id=159 ). I have chosen to explore the issue of self-help because I think that some people may not understand or realize that they harm themselves more than others can or have harmed them. I will provide examples of how people harm themselves and I will provide information and tips on ways that those whom harm themselves can learn to heal themselves.

I have decided to use Patricia McCormick�s book titled Cut, as my centerpiece. I was influenced by a personal experience to read and present Cut in my book talk. This experience occurred a couple years ago, when I saw cut marks on the wrist of one of my younger cousins. I have known for quite some time that she had been experiencing verbal and physical abuse from her mother but I had no idea that my cousin was attempting to release pain by cutting herself. My initial reaction was that she wanted to kill herself, but after having a sincere conversation with her, I realized that she wanted to live. I have never personally known anyone who cut themselves before, and all of the books and movies I saw that dealt with this issue lead me to believe that the person who cuts himself or herself does such as a suicidal attempt. However, Callie (the main character in Cut) shed a new light on my perspective of people who cut themselves.

After presenting Cut in my book talk, and listening to others present their books (which contained similar issues of self-inflicting harm), I was convinced that this issue is something universal therefore, it should be further explored. In my annotated bibliography, I have complied information from various sources that I feel can be useful to young adults and any one else who has an interest, someone who is trying to help another, and / or for someone who is going through similar situations of self-inflicted harm.

Anderson, Laurie Halse. �The Mystery and Magic of Story: A Spell that Connects One Heart to Another�. Publisher: The ALAN Review [ALAN workshop]. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania; (Fall 2005). In-class reading by Dr. Mary Warner. Class lecture for Eng 112B: August 8, 2009.

The article was adapted by a presentation that Laurie H. Anderson gave in 2005. During this presentation, Anderson mentions experiences that have influenced her to write, and she quotes some things that her fans have written in letters they sent to her. One of the most powerful lines, to me, in her presentation was when she said, �The reader feels as close to the author as he does to his best friend, to the person who knows the secrets of his heart and still likes him.� (6). I like this quote as a writer and as a reader. As a writer, I would want my readers to connect with the characters in my writing and with me so that they can gain something from what I have written. I feel that there is no use in reading something if you cannot take something, no matter how small, away from it. As a reader, I have found that I can connect to writings better if I can connect to the characters or the author of the text. Books are often depicted as methods of escaping or coping with reality. It is through writing that an author / poet can express himself / herself and it is through reading that a reader can understand the perspective of someone else or enhance their own perspective of something / someone.

The hope of some writers may be to have the reader confide in them and / or the characters that have been created. Readers should feel safe in their readings; they should not judge, nor feel judged by any character in the book. In my opinion, all members of the reading process should respect each other. This includes the author, the characters, and the readers / critics of the text. It is through writing and reading that identification of self-inflicted harm can be recognized. Once this issue is recognized, the healing process can begin.

Anderson, Laurie Halse. Twisted. Publisher: Penguin Group (USA) Inc. New York (2007) ISBN: 9780142411841. Book Talk handout by Jena Brigantino. Class presentation for Eng 112B: October 07, 2009.

Tyler Miller is the main character of this text and he experiences a dramatic identity change in school, which causes him to inflict harm onto himself. At first, Miller is known as a �nerd� who everyone at school ignored. Once Miller is caught and punished for spray-painting words on school property, he becomes visible to everyone in the school. I will focus on Miller�s self-inflicting hatred towards himself.

Miller becomes very depressed about being arrested and having a negative reputation. His grades start to go down, he starts expressing self-hatred, he becomes negative and doubtful of his future, and he becomes highly depressed. Miller�s depression increases due to others bullying and abusing him along with his self-inflicting abuse. This text is important because it reveals how changes can cause or increase negative self-inflicting behaviors. It also exposes the harsh realities of High School, and it explores the effects of the actions of others and they may affect ones perception of self.

Crutcher, Chris. Whale Talk. Publisher: Harper Collins Publishing; (April 01. 2001) ISBN: 06888180191

T.J. is the main character of this book; is also the one character that connects all the other characters in the text. This text is very useful to help identify many different types of self-inflicting harms. T.J. suffers from physical and emotional pain that his biological parents have caused by mistreating him and abandoning him during his early childhood. His (adopted) father suffers from psychological, emotional, and mental pain caused by the death of a child in his past. Many of the other characters suffer pain from negative past experiences and from present states of being that include many different types of abuse. Although most of the abuse in this text is physically caused by one character onto another, the cause of this abuse is due to self-inflicting harms. This book is useful in identifying how unresolved internal conflicts can cause the sufferer to seek ways to release their tension. Some of the characters find positive outlets to their self-inflicting harms like sports, or academics. Others seek activities that ultimately lead to self-destruction, and in some cases, death (of themselves and /or of others).

Going, K.L. Fat Kid Rules the World. Publisher: Penguin Group (USA) Inc.; (November 18, 2004) ISBN: 0142402087. Book Talk handout by Erik Olson. Class presentation for Eng 112B: September 29, 2009.

Troy Billings, young man in his teens, suffers from obesity. Billings is over 300 pounds and has one of the worst diseases, depression. Some people may not think of depression as a disease but rather as a state of being. However, in some cases, I would argue that depression is a form of a disease because it can be contagious, deadly, and some try to cure it with medicine, etc. Despite depression as a state of being, or a disease, it is clearly a self-inflicting harm. Those who suffer from depression place limitations on themselves; they degrade themselves, and often contemplate, commit, or attempt suicide.

I am pleased that Going created what Erik refers to as a �yin/yang� relationship between Billings and Curt McCrae. This relationship is important because it exposes the extremities of both ends of weight issues (Billings being over weight and McCrae being under weight) and it creates hope for those who suffer from these issues. The book attempts to expose other issues that relate to Billings� depression including self-hatred, self-limitation, eating disorders, anger, and other issues that can lead to self-inflicting harms. All of these forms of self-inflicting harms are explored in Patricia McCormick�s Cut.

Hautzig, Deborah. Second Star to the Right. Publisher: Penguin Group (USA) Inc.; (October 01, 1999) ISBN: 0141305800. Book Talk handout by Ellen T. James. Class presentation for Eng 112B: September 16, 2009.

This story is about 14-year old Leslie who has an eating disorder. Leslie verbally and mentally abuses herself, which is one form of self-inflicting harm. She lies to her mother and her friends about what is going on in her life. She often has verbal fights with herself, blames others for her actions / condition, and she contemplates suicide. Many of the issues that Leslie has are discussed in Patricia McCormick�s book titled, Cut.

In my opinion, the worst lie that Leslie tells is to herself. Her mother asks her what is wrong with her and she replies �I don�t know� then she internally questions her actions and replies (to herself), �Nothing�s wrong, nothing�s wrong, and asking is against the rules.� (64). Often times people will lie to others about what is bothering them to avoid becoming vulnerable. Lying to others is very different than lying to yourself, which is very harmful. When you lie to yourself, you may start to believe the lie. Once a lie, seemingly, becomes the truth, the healing process of self-inflicting harms is delayed. The first step to any recovery is acceptance. If Leslie cannot accept that she has a weight problem, she will never seek healing her self-inflicting harms.

Hughes, Langston. �The Collected Poems of Langston Hughes�. Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group; (November 01, 1994) ISBN: 0679426310.

The poem I chose from this collection is titled �Life is Fine�. I chose this poem because it is inspirational. When I read this poem, it makes me feel as though I need to value my life, and that no matter how tough life can be, I need to keep living it. When Hughes writes, �Though you may hear me holler, And you may see me cry--I'll be dogged, sweet baby, If you gonna see me die. Life is fine! Fine as wine! Life is fine!� I understand that he realizes that hard times will come and go, but the important thing is to move forward.

I thought this poem would be a great source because it pushes the writer and the reader to move forward. This poem brings a sense of hope, and offers joy to life. If depression leads to self-inflecting harm, which may lead to suicide attempts and/or death; then this poem leads to hope, which leads to life, which heals the pain. This poem connects to the positive outlets my cousin practices, and to hope which becomes another aspect of the healing process. Poetry, writing, reading, and other positive outlets help those who cause harm onto themselves to learn how to heal themselves.

Lynn, Tracy. Rx. Publisher: Simon & Schuster Children's Publishing; December 27, 2005 ISBN: 1416911553. Book Talk handout by Kyle Yrigoyen. Class presentation for Eng 112B: September 30, 2009.

Thyme is the main character of this book and she both sells and uses prescription drugs in her High School. I chose to use this book as a source because it deals with the issue of drugs, focusing on prescription drug usage. Before hearing Kyle�s presentation on this book, I had no idea that prescription drugs where commonly abused among young adults. What really stuck out during Kyle�s presentation is a quote that he read; �There were voices in my head. Loud. Not like I really heard them outside myself, or thought they were from Satan or anything; they were just my own thoughts, racing around and around and saying shit about me�.� (no page number included in handout). The quote continuous to reveal the negative things that Thymes� internal voices say about her. This is an example of how someone may suffer from self-inflicting mental, verbal, and emotional harm. Thyme is in denial that the prescription drugs she uses are addictive and are harming her physically, as well as, causing her to battle with her conscience. This type of self-inflicting harm can be hard to heal because the person suffering may not be able to determine which is more harmful, him / herself or the drug itself.

Besides introducing, the fact that young adults abuse and sell prescription drugs, this book is useful in detecting self-inflicting harm. Thyme is a character that can identify with a diverse group associated with drugs. If you were an adult, you would identify yourself with the doctor who prescribes the drugs or the parents who allows the child to take the drugs without monitoring them. Those who attend the school would identify themselves with the dealer (who sells the drugs), the young adult (who buys and uses the drug), and / or those who are aware of what is going on yet, does nothing to stop or prevent it from continuing. Given these descriptions, all of these people can identify with Thyme in one way or another.

Unlike Cut, this book does not explore possible ways of healing self-inflicting harm. Nor did it place blame on anyone in the text. Kyle quoted a detective who gave a speech saying how he has not been able to find the person dealing drugs in the school but that, �[His point] is, this stuff is really happening. With your kids. In this school. Your proof�s right here. Pretending it doesn�t [happen] will not help you fight it.� Then the book goes back to Thyme who is relieved that she did not get caught selling or using the drugs. In my opinion, Lynn could have written an ending that includes possible ways to heal this issue or at least directly blame / punish someone. As a reader, I was let down. I feel as though Lynn�s attitude towards the issue maybe something along the lines of the detectives, which implies that this issue will continue unless someone else (not himself or herself) deals with it.

McCormick, Patricia. Cut. Publisher: Scholastic Inc.; (February 2002) ISBN: 0439324599. Book Talk handout by Kristian Raymo. Class presentation for Eng 112B: October 14, 2009.

Callie is the main character of the book and she has to go into Sea Pines, which is a hospital for young girls who have issues that may cause them to commit suicide. At first, no one (except her family, the doctors, faculty, and the therapist) knew why Callie was in the hospital. She attended group sessions but did not participate until Amanda revealed that she cuts herself to release pain or stress, just like Callie does (38-39). Similar to using drugs, Callie gets an adrenaline rush from cutting herself and often (indirectly) uses self-blaming techniques to justify why she may �need� to cut herself (2-3). Her explanations are revealed in her therapy sessions towards the end of the book.

This book is very helpful for the person who cuts himself or herself and for those who have to deal with someone who cuts himself or herself. Issues such as self-blame, denial, co-dependent issues, eating disorders, low self-esteem, and other problems that deal with self-inflicted pain or harm are introduced and discussed within the text. Young adults and their parents can learn how to avoid, identify, and heal issues that cause self-inflicting harm. Parents can gain a perspective of how their actions or lack of actions / explanations to their children about certain things can be harmful to themselves, their children, their entire family, and any one else who is associated with any of the above. This book has given me a clearer perspective as to why people may cut themselves, besides as a suicidal attempt. Since reading this book, I have spoken with my cousin and we have made an agreement with each other. She is supposed to call and talk to me about her thoughts and feelings before she reaches her �cutting� point. I have purchased some drawing materials for her to use whenever she does not feel like talking but needs to express herself, and she has opened her mind to poetry. I hope that she will continue to find positive outlets as means of coping with her issues. In addition, although I do not physically harm myself, I too, am guilty of self-inflicted harm, which I am continuously working towards healing.

Neruda, Pablo. �Sonnet XVII�. Publisher: PoemHunter.com- The World�s Poetry Archive (2004). Poetry presentation by Unknown Student. Class presentation for Eng 112B: October 2009.

This poem was presented to our class for the poetry presentation assignment. I do not remember who chose this poem but I have a hard copy from the class and I was able to retrieve information about the author on-line (http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/sonnet-xvii/). On first read, I can read this poem as a love letter from one person to another. Yet, I can also read this poem as a love letter to oneself. The wonderful thing about poetry is that the reader can identify whatever he/she wants to as long as they have proof or evidence. In the poem Neruda says, �I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way in which there is no I or you�� I read this as Neruda saying that he loves himself. Love is a very difficult thing to explain and its elements are complex especially when others are involved. Therefore, for Neruda to say that the love that he has does not have complexities or pride, I can assume that this is because he finds it easier to love himself. This is not to say that loving yourself is always easy or that it is something you can learn because even Neruda cannot explain �how, or when, or from where� he loves himself.

I really like this poem because it offers motivation and hope to those who suffer from self-inflicting harms. One way to heal yourself can be to love yourself. I think self-love is the strongest love because this love is unconditional and is very different from the love that you would have for someone else. You cannot escape yourself, deny yourself, or replace yourself and remain healthy. Therefore, self-love, self-respect, self-acceptance, and high self-esteem are all qualities that can be useful during the healing process of preventing and stopping self-inflicting harms.

Movie info:

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire. Screen play: Geoffrey Fletcher. Director: Lee Daniels. Producer(s): Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry, Lisa Cortes. Performer(s): Gabourey Sidibe, Mo�Nique, Mariah Carey, Lenny Kravitz. Lion�s gate films, (November 06, 2009).

Book info:

Sapphire. Precious: Based on the novel Push. Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group; (October 20, 2009) ISBN: 0307474844.

Sapphire. Push. Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group; (May 01, 1997) ISBN: 0679766758

Precious is a movie that has recently hit theatres and is based on the novel Push. I have never read the book but I have seen the movie and I must say that it is very thought provoking. It makes you laugh, cry, think, you become upset, frustrated, you will be emotional during this movie. I think this movie is a wonderful example of self-inflicting harm that can be learned from others. Precious is the name of the main character in the film. She suffers from mental, verbal, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. Her mother is the cause of most of her abuse and is the person that taught her was of inflicting pain onto herself. Nevertheless, her father and other people in her life, including herself, have added to her abuse and harm so they all share some of the blame.

One thing that I really enjoyed about this film is the ending where Precious realizes that she is allowing others to harm her and she contributes to the pain herself. Towards the very end, her mother takes responsibility for her actions but finds that it is too late; the pain she has caused Precious has forced Precious to exclude her own mother from her life for good. There is no turning back.

Although Precious is told that she is HIV positive, she does not let that stop her from changing her life. I found that to be a very powerful move, especially given all the issues the Precious has. After watching the movie, I felt motivated to push forward in life. Similar to Langston Hughes poem �Life is Fine�, Precious is an example that life is worth living, and that there will be sunshine after the rain. I have chosen to include this film in my sources because I feel that this film is a visual example of how to heal oneself. If Precious can heal herself after all the negative things that have happened and after all the self-inflicting pain, she has caused herself, there is hope for others to heal themselves.

Raymo, Kristian

Annotated Bibliography. Eng 112B

Dr. Warner due 12/09/09

Poems

Life Is Fine

I went down to the river,
I set down on the bank.
I tried to think but couldn't,
So I jumped in and sank.

I came up once and hollered!
I came up twice and cried!
If that water hadn't a-been so cold
I might've sunk and died.

But it was Cold in that water! It was cold!

I took the elevator
Sixteen floors above the ground.
I thought about my baby
And thought I would jump down.

I stood there and I hollered!
I stood there and I cried!
If it hadn't a-been so high
I might've jumped and died.

But it was High up there! It was high!

So since I'm still here livin',
I guess I will live on.
I could've died for love--
But for livin' I was born

Though you may hear me holler,
And you may see me cry--
I'll be dogged, sweet baby,
If you gonna see me die.

Life is fine! Fine as wine! Life is fine!

Langston Hughes

Sonnet XVII

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Pablo Neruda

Both poems were found on http://www.poemhunter.com/.